WHEN YOU MAKE A GOAL, OWN IT! (Making Goals You'll Meet - Part 2)

In this series, I am addressing why only 8% of people who set goals, actually reach them.  As martial artists, don’t we want to be part of that 8% who do reach their goals?  After studying this for the past couple of years, I am convinced there are three main reasons why people fail, and it’s usually before they even get started!  I addressed Reason #1 in the last post here: The idea that we tend to look at how far we need to go instead of how far we have come.  Now for reason #2.

REASON #2 is that You didn’t buy into it in the first place.  IT’S NOT YOUR GOAL!  Maybe you set a goal you THINK you should have, not one that you WANT to have.  You see, we all have these little voices inside of our head telling us what we should be doing.  You know, the one that pops in and says things like “You should lose weight…. You should work harder…. You should get better grades…. You should practice more…. You should meditate…. You should ______…” Then, we set our goals accordingly.

Well, that is a total recipe for failure.

Think about it.  Let’s take weight loss as an example, which is a classic goal.  Friends, family, and the media have a lot to say as to how we should look, and what is a healthy weight.  So if those voices are the guiding factor for your goal, then IT’S NOT YOUR GOAL!  You are doing it for someone else.  Conversely, you may not have embraced a goal that you really want because others have convinced you it is not a worthy goal.

Either way you haven’t owned it.  Here’s the key:  YOU HAVE TO OWN IT!  You have to decide that regardless of what other people think, YOU have decided it is a goal YOU want for YOU.  Not for anyone else, and not because society says so.

And parents, when we "guide” our kids by telling them what goals THEY should have, the same thing holds true: They’re NOT THEIR GOALS!
(I am totally guilty of doing this, by the way.)

Now this brings us to TASK #2.  First, write your goals for 2015.  I like to write goals in four areas, but you can write them in any areas you like.  Here are my four areas:

A goal to strengthen my MIND
A goal to strengthen my BODY
A goal to strengthen my SPIRIT
A goal to CONTRIBUTE to others

Then, take a good look at each of your goals.  Ask yourself three questions.

1. WHY do I want to reach this goal?
2. Is it clear that I want it for ME?
3. How is it going to FEEL when I achieve it?

If the answer to these questions make it clear that the goal is for YOU and you will feel GREAT in the having of it…. then congratulations.  You have a goal!

But, we still have one more hurdle to overcome.  I’ll be back next week with Reason #3!